Here We Go Again... Travelling Alone Part II

Ever since I spoke to some of the teachers a couple of weeks ago about travelling alone (click here to read part I) I’ve become more and more obsessed with talking to Spaniards about this topic. More specifically, I’ve become really interested in exploring the cultural differences that are so evident between Spaniards and Americans.

Yesterday I told one of the teachers about the trip that I will be taking to Italy in a couple of weeks. She was so amazed by it that she in turn told all of the teachers about my trip when we were in the conference room today during almuerzo. The teachers were also pretty impressed and talked about how “lucky” I am. They then began to ask me questions such as “how much did you pay for your tickets” and “how many days will you be there.” Then, the inevitable question came: “¿con quien vas?” (Who are you going with)? After hearing this question I immediately thought about the conversation that I had a couple of weeks ago with two other teachers when I told them that I would probably go to London alone and they looked at me as if I was insane. This time there were about 10 teachers in the room and again I admitted that I was going to go “sola.” I prepared myself for the responses that were coming my way.

I once again got bewildered facial expressions from everyone. One of the teachers even stopped chewing her bocadillo as soon as I said this. This time they didn’t ask me why I was going alone but they did ask me if I felt comfortable travelling without another person. I told them that I did feel comfortable travelling alone because I am alone all of the time in Spain and I am very accustomed to it now. I heard one of the teachers saying that she wished she could do that but I wasn’t sure if she was referring to going to Italy or to travelling alone. This conversation lasted for about 10 minutes and when the bell finally rang I felt like everyone left the room with some kind of new opinion of me; I just didn’t know if it was a positive or negative one.  

After the almuerzo break I asked the other English teacher if everyone thought that I was crazy for travelling alone. I was very curious to know what they actually thought about this topic since a lot of them were having side conversations in valenciano. She told me that they were actually thinking the exact opposite; they looked at me more as an inspiration rather than as a crazy person. She told me that everyone admired the fact that I had no problem travelling by myself, not because it’s a dangerous thing to do but because I feel as though I don’t have to be accompanied by anyone to have a good time. She said that she could never see herself being that independent.

“I have to be with someone everywhere I go,” she said, “I wouldn’t even go to Madrid alone.” She then talked again about how living in London for a month to study English was the most difficult thing that she had ever done. She told me that she cried almost every night that she was there because she really missed her friends and family (by the way, London is a very quick and inexpensive plane ride away). Then she told me that she, as well as everyone else, didn’t know how I could live here for so long and still seem so happy and unbothered about being so far away from my family. She talked about how brave and independent I was and how she wishes that she was the same way.

This is where the “American” vs. “Spanish” mindset once again comes into play. Since I’ve become more interested in this subject, I’ve been thinking more and more about just how dependant most Spanish people are (again I don’t say this as a bad thing). I instantly think about the fact that all of the teachers at my school go to their home towns on the weekends to be with their families and about how, when I go out in Jávea with one of the teachers, it’s always me, her, and her boyfriend, and how, whenever I tell someone what I did on the weekend they immediately ask who I was with. I also get a "Do you miss your family?" question every single week, sometimes several times a week by different people. It must have been so shocking to them a couple of weeks ago when they asked me if I was ready to go home and I told them that I missed my family but that I also  didn’t mind staying in Spain for a little while longer.

As an American, it’s so interesting for me to see how attached these people are to their friends and family because, although family is very important in the United States, there are still so many people that live far away from their families and friends. People move to different states all the time for school, work and even love. Most college students even make calculated decisions to get as far away from their homes as possible after graduating high school. I feel that this is almost the complete opposite in Spain. Although I think that there are positives and negatives about both cultures, I am really happy about the fact that I have an “Independent American” mindset because I feel like you can miss out on so much in life if you are always thinking that you need another person to be there with you.

After talking to the teacher about travelling “sola” and admitting that I’m not really bothered by it, I then asked her whether or not she thought that it was very dangerous. I told her about how angry my father had been to hear about my solo trip to Italy.  I believe that travelling period can be risky, whether you are alone or with a group of people, but I wanted to know what she thought about the subject since she lives in Europe and travelling to other European countries is quite common here. Surprisingly she admitted that she didn’t think that it was very dangerous at all. She said that she thought that it could actually be more dangerous if you are travelling with another person because people are more likely to do riskier things when they are with other people.

It was refreshing to hear her answer and it was also quite amusing to think that she and the other teachers were more bothered by the fact that I was travelling alone because they were worried that I would be lonely rather than the fact that they feared for my safety.